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Advice when friends went to a friends house without you

Requested in Love & Relationships by FreedomWriter
edited by 2cent

1 Rec

Your friends are being insensitive. You should branch out and make new friends.
My friends are getting me really frustrated lately. I'm leaving for Italy tomorrow. Today I was supposed to go out for lunch with my friends because its my last day until 3 weeks and I come back. I told them I wanted to go for lunch about last week! Yesterday I told them and two of them said "oh well, this guy asked us to go to his house..." The other one said "Sure!" So i was like, alright, they can go after lunch we'll eat and they can take off. So we went to school for exam marks. After I said so where should we go for lunch? One of them said well, we're gonna go to ___ house. Come though. The friend who said sure is now going to this guy's house because they told her too. So then I said "Well I'm not spending my last hours at some guy's house that I'm not even close with." So my friends went to this guy's house and I went home. And I'm guessing they rather be with him than me even though they have ALL SUMMER too do that. When I am leaving tomorrow and won't see them for a while! I don't know why they picked him over me? Am I doing something wrong here!?

Signed, freedom writer.
I'm not sure how old you are but I'm guessing teens so here is my answer based on that guess. They are going to a boys house. At your age that's their most important thing in the world. Friends are constantly ditched for boys. I know your feelings are hurt and you have good reason for it. But girls are girls and they are always hurting each other's feelings. I bet when you get back that boy will have already moved on and they will be talking about another one.

Now have fun in Italy, find yourself some Italian to talk all about when you get back home. And even if you don't you have three weeks to think up a great story to make them all jealous.

Good Luck and Have Fun
Those girls may be your friends but they are not your best friends. Even young adults understand loyalty and priority. Of course, they could just be jealous. Italy is pretty cool. Is your family richer and more successful than your friends families? If so, move on. You should only hang around people below your socio-economic status if they treat you well and like you for who you are (or what you can buy for them).

Maybe you should get some new friends. Don't totally forget your old friends. You may need them to fill an open spot on an empty weekend. Just put it into perspective. I, for example, am middle-age. I keep in touch with 1 friend from high school and about 10 from college. When I was in high school, I thought that my best friends would be in my life FOREVER.
Dear Freedom Writer,

The way I see it, there are essentially three possibilities here:

1) Your friends are jerks and don't care enough to take you out to lunch before you leave.

2) Your friends are too boy crazy to realize that they should care enough to take you out to lunch before you leave

3) You're annoying and your friends don't want to take you out to lunch before you leave.

Only you can really determine which is option is reality. Do a little self reflection and give a little thought to the quality of friends you have to figure it out.

The choice you ended up making - take your ball and go home - suggest to me that you are kind of a pain in the ass. If so, I would suggest working to be the kind of person that people want to spend their time with. That is accomplished by listening more than you talk, saying interesting or funny things when you do talk, smiling and laughing a lot, paying people unsolicited genuine compliments when applicable, and not complaining. You can't control the choices your friends make, but you can't influence their choices through your behavior.

Enjoy Italy!


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