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Advice if your sister in law is flirting with you

Requested in Love & Relationships by a contributor
edited by 2cent

3 Recs

That's a tricky one. Can you tell us more about your situation?
This has been going on for some time now. My wife and I will go to my in-laws house to visit the family about once-a-week. My wife's other brothers and sisters will also visit at the same time (she 1 of 10 siblings). 2 sisters still live at home. H. is the younger of the 2 living at home and has never had a boyfriend, she's 40 and quite attractive for that age (I'm 35). She's basically stay at home person who just goes to work, maybe a little shopping, then back to the house.

H. has always been friendly to me and we have gently teased each other in the past. Within the last 6 to 8 months H. has warmed up to me considerably. She has been openly flirting with me. She'll accidentally "bump" into to me while passing in the hall, or while standing or sitting, she'll come up to me, and slowly run her hand up and down my arm. While sitting at the dinner table, she always sits across from me and is trying to play "footsy" (touch or rub her feet against mine). She constantly stares at me, trying to make eye-contact and will do some strange things to get me to notice her. A lot of these "flirting" behaviors are done in the open, right in front of her family whom don't seem to notice or pay attention. I've looked around and don't seen any of her other brothers and sisters displaying such behavior towards anyone. What's worse is that once most people leave for the night, she'll duck into her bedroom and change into some really sexy clothes. As in very tight, short shorts that make Daisy Dukes look like slacks, and a tight t-shirt with no bra as her hard nipples are yelling for attention. She'll lay on the sofa and garb a pillow and place it in her groin area and hold it tightly and gently roll back and forth on the sofa. Or she'll stand behind the sofa, placing her arms on the back and kind of lay her back straight out with her but in the air and legs open in a upside down "V" pattern, kind of like ready for "doggy style." Again, this simply seems for my pleasure as soon as someone comes in the house, she'll quickly run to the bedroom and change to more presentable clothes.

I've tried to ignore all of the behaviors, but she doesn't stop. I've openly confronted her and asked her if she's got anything for me, which she denies, then the behaviors will subside for a few weeks, then picks back up again. I do consider her attractive and wouldn't mind these behaviors if she wasn't my sister-in-law. So far I haven't said anything to my wife, as I don't know if I can trust my H. If I told my wife, I'm afraid that H. will say that I've been "playing" along all of this time. What do I do?
It's obvious that this woman wants what her sister has. Next time she starts something under the table, you need to loudly say, "H, what are you doing??" Draw attention to the behavior every time she does it. When she dresses inappropriately around you and enters the room, get up and leave. If she doesn't have an audience, she won't have a reason to do it. If she touches you, be loud about that, too. Tell her, "Only my wife is allowed to touch me that way!"
You need to get more actively discouraging than "ignoring." Leave the room. Don't sit next to her. Refuse to be alone with her. Leave the house if you have to. And every time she does something overt, like changing her clothes, tell her that it is inappropriate and you are not interested.

And talk to your wife about this NOW. Trust me - better to talk to her now and have your SIL try to turn it around on you than have the SIL get mad that you rejected her and tell your wife something before you do.
#1 Stop any teasing or flirting you are still doing (if any).

#2 You need to tell your wife. The wrong thing to do is keep your SIL's behavior towards you a secret from the person you married. It will only blow up in your face later and then she will have reason to mistrust you.

#3 Stop spending time alone with this woman when you visit your IL's home. If she walked over to you, walk away, find your wife, whatever. Once you tell your wife what is going on, I'm sure she will stick to you like glue.

#4 Smart people don't enjoy situations that put their marriages in danger, SIL or not.
First of all, I think it's strange that if she looks that hot and she's 40, how come she's never had a boyfriend??? I would take her to the side and tell her that you are on to her little game and you don't appreciate it. You are married to her sister, and she needs to have respect for her sister, you and your marriage. Tell her that if you tell your wife it will cause problems between her and her sister, and will probably hurt your wife as well, but I would tell this sister that it may come to that if she does't stop. If she continues do it.
Maybe your wife is in on it an they want to have a three some .
Shared by a contributor
Whatever you do man, don't tell your wife. Keep your distance from her, otherwise chances are you will end up sleeping wirh her, which will have consequence you would not want to face.
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