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Advice if depressed from impotence premature ejaculation

Requested in Love & Relationships by a contributor
edited by 2cent

1 Rec

I think if you were with someone for a while it would probably improve once you become comfortable with that person. You're probably so worked up about worrying about premature ejaculating that it becomes reality. Is there more you can tell us about what's going on?
Hi Misssy, I have a big problem in my life. I have no close female friends at this time and never talked before with other friends about my problem. So I decided to go online and I found you.

I'm male 30 and since 26 I had a problem in my prostate that caused some sexual impotence and severe premature ejaculation. This problem affected all my life, self esteem, my happiness. I have deep depression caused by it. In the last 4 years I had 3 sexual relations and in all three I ejaculated in 3 seconds. It's not mental. It's that my body turned very sensitive because before my 26th birthday I lasted for hours. And after I ejaculate I need 3 to 4 hours to recover when at 26 I just needed five minutes and ready for the next.

In the last 4 years I avoided all contact with girls. But now I start to feel lonely and uncomfortable because everyone asks when I'm getting married.

So this month I joined to a marriage agency in my country. I ask for a girl with specific details and there are some. I'm 30, in good shape, attractive, and I'm an owner of a successful company, have a house, and I honestly never cheated any girlfriend and never will because I have principles.

Here's my problem and I need your very honest opinion. I want to hear what a female thinks about it and sometimes I know a woman says one thing, but she wants other things, so please be sincere. I know sex is very important in marriage and this problem could affect all my life if both of the partners are not happy.

I started taking some herbal pills to try heal my prostate and my sexual issues. It's the last change because I already tried everything but finally I'm seeing some improvement. But if at the end of 3 months I'm not seeing any decent improvement I will give up and and have to try Viagra or injections on the penis to get a sex life.

The girl's profile I asked for at the marriage agency must have some good personality qualities and must be a little attractive. I haven't revealed my problem to the agency so I wouldn't feel embarrassed and reduce my changes.

They already have profiles of girls that are also looking for a guy like me and they showed me some profiles. I liked a lot of some but now I'm afraid to meet beautiful woman when I have this problem.

What do you think? Should I go meet the girl first and only if we start dating after the first kiss reveal my problem and say:

"Because of my prostate problem I have severe premature ejaculation. I'm trying my last herbal treatment. If it doesn't work I have to take Viagra and if  that doesn't work I have to take injections each time so we'll have sex. Will that be a problem? I think it's better to touch on the issue before we know if we will have something."

How do you think she will react? With injections I can have full erection for 2 or 3 hours and have normal sex. Or do you think I shouldn't choose attractive girls and choose less attractive girls?

Please be honest and not friendly. Friendly sometimes is bad advice. Don't have fear of hurting me. Please put me in the place of the girl I will meet. Each one of us has 3 opportunities. If we don't like any of the 3 we have to pay more and it's not cheap.
I actually spent 3 years of my life in a long-term relationship with a man that had a similar issue. It's more common than you think. At the beginning of my relationship he secretly took Viagra before we had sex. About 2 months into dating I found the bottle of it on the floor. He was extremely embarrassed but I really, really liked him so I tried to be as supportive as possible. As time went on he needed the Viagra less and less. Until finally, after like 6 - 9 months, of being together he didn't need it. We had normal length sex.

I thought I would share this tidbit since it has to do with your issue. I am so sorry you have to deal with this. I can't begin to imagine how awful it must be. Do you think you may make it worse because mentally you're expecting it to happen?

I think joining the marriage agency is good. At least it's people knowing what they want. But don't force things with anyone either. So the question - I wouldn't tell her after the first kiss. Don't have sex for a while. Tell her you'd like to take things slow, get to know each other, and then once she gets to know you, and likes you, let her know that for 4 years you've been dealing with this.

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