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Advice for woman having no female friends

Requested in Love & Relationships by a contributor
edited by 2cent

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You're not alone. I was like that, too. I had one or two close friends, and it was a long time between friends at times. My two older daughters were the same way. I think it may have something to do with trust issues. Girls can be really mean, and it's hard to let your guard down. Now that I'm older, I'm more confident and I have lots of people I can confide in and making friends is a breeze. I think it's just a matter of growing into yourself and maturing. Try to be more open to all kinds of people. Friends come in all forms. And try to give more of yourself, in little ways. Befriend an elderly neighbor or volunteer once a month at a nursing home to visit someone who has no family. It will boost your confidence and bring happiness to others.
For as far back as I can remember I have maybe had only a handful of female friends. For some reason I have always had problems making female friends, but I had a lot of male friends due to the fact that I liked climbing trees, video games and comics. I wasn't a complete tomboy though because I would wear makeup and dress girlie from time to time (which I thought would give me something in common with making girl friends) but nope.

I tried really hard to make female friends but somehow I felt like girls always hated me. I heard from a friend a lot of girls in High School thought I was a snob or full of myself, which I am not sure why (I guess because I was quiet?). I also noticed that my older sister's friends always roll their eyes at me... not sure why.

The thing that bothers me is, I am getting married soon and I don't have a maid of honor, because of my lack of female friends. I feel weird about that. I just want some female friends.

What could be the problem here?
I was recently a groomslady in a good male friend's wedding. Ask your best male friend. Some people thought it was weird but I was really proud to be a part of the wedding and I was not close enough to the bride to be a bridesmaid. It's 2010 ffs!

I have a lot of male friends, too, so I understand. It sounds like you're not a girly-girl - try finding other women who are similar. I found a lot of female friends from joining a feminist music community. It's awesome! I always thought girls didn't like me either. Turns out I just needed to find other like-minded women. Having male friends is nice, but can be alienating, especially if you're the only woman around. Hanging out with a big group of girly women (like at work I have to all the time) still makes me very very very uncomfortable. I always feel like an 8-year old boy in those situations. Yulch!

Some of us don't necessarily obviously fit into 'GIRL' or 'BOY', but we're adults now, so there are ways around that. Good luck!
When I was in college, I was the "best maid" (ha ha ha) in a friend's wedding because I had introduced the bride to the groom but had been friends with them about the same amount of time. Unconventional weddings are no longer a social faux pas. Do what makes you happy and who cares what your sister and her friends think! Do you HAVE to have attendants? I was recently at a wedding where there weren't any, but they did that to keep peace in the (rather large) family and to keep the wedding more intimate. If the older sister's friends make snotty comments, just tell them you wanted to save friends the misery of buying expensive, one-time-use, perpetually ugly dresses.

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