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Advice on your fiances sister being rude and opinionated

Requested in Parenting & Family by a contributor
edited by 2cent

3 Recs

At the very least they need anger management and perhaps medication. Just because they're family doesn't mean everyone is supposed to tolerate their obnoxious attitudes and outbursts and suck it up.
Thanks. I usually would get annoyed with his older sister because she would try to push her views on us but I wouldn't pay attention to what the younger sister said most of the time because I thought she was mentally challenged. I didn't think she could help being rude and extremely loud. She would have sudden outbursts of anger, scream to communicate and start fights with the other siblings over small things. Once she made fun of our dog for being small (her dog is very large), she kept laughing at our dog but she was very angry when talking about him, it was really odd. The mother would tell everyone "she's having a bad day today, so be careful what you say since anything could upset her". I also heard that she would lock herself in her room for a week and refuse to talk to anyone... So after everything I was under the impression that she was mentally challenged or had some sort of disability (which is fine). One night after talking to my fiance about how rude his older sister was to me, he asked why I never got upset with his younger sister because she is far worse. I said "because I don't think she can help it". My fiance got really upset and said "you think she is retarded? Or something, because she's not she is really smart and she has gone to college and... I just said sorry and I didn't say anything else.

I feel really bad, although I still think something is wrong with her and the family doesn't want to face it. I know a lot of people who have disabilities and have still gone to college and excelled in certain areas. My question is how can I let my fiance know that I feel horrible about this? I feel like his sudden reaction and anger was because maybe other people have also had that impression of his sister?
I think the whole family has made excuses for bad behavior all the way around. It's unrealistic of your fiance to expect you to know what the background information is if no one (especially your fiance!) told you. Stop feeling bad about making assumptions on what little you knew. I'd start rethinking marrying into this family.

If you still think your fiance is worth putting up with the sisters, try to limit your time with them. Tell him he can visit them without you. Also, be prepared for a nightmare wedding because I can guarantee you those sisters will find a way to ruin it for you, and the mother will do nothing to stop it.
I think it can be expected for family members to get angry if someone calls their daughter or sister mentally retarded. It really is an insult. I have a brother who is getting a divorce. His wife never loved him. She was very disrespectful to him and our family. We all would have been better off if she did not marry into our family. If you do not really love your fiance or want to associate with his family, then please reconsider marrying him.

By the way, Elvis Presley used to lock himself in his room with his wife for weeks. It was his way to escape from the world for awhile. Do you think Elvis was mentally retarded?
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Hey guys my wife and I have been married for 15 years. For over five years I have been dealing with jealousy issues because of flirting and her having emotional type affairs with other men. I felt like my masculinity was in question and if I said the way she was acting bothered me, it seemed to make matters worse or I was accused of being controling. During this period I did state I wanted a divorce if the behavior was not going to end: texting men a night, leaving for the weekend without letting me know where she was going or not responding to messages. We do have a son and basically it's been him and I for the last year on the weekends. She disconnected completely from being a good wife and mother. In April she said she wanted a separation and I said no we need to get into marriage counseling. We did try that, but she was not very responsive and didn't give any effort. Afterward she was adamant about separation and divorce. I continued to say no and that we needed to save our family. She presented a separation agreement and I had to hire a lawyer. Because of the above behavior my lawyer suggested a private investigator. The investigator discovered my wife was having an affair with a close friend of the family who also is married with children. We know the extended families. I feel like I should tell this man's wife about what happened. This adultery has devastated me emotionally, I feel betrayed and I'm physically drained. I know my wife is passionate in terms of her sexuality, and I can't get the thought of them out of my head. It makes me question my own manhood, and I feel very inferior or that he must be a better lover or what ever. The problem is my wife pursued him. She would go to him and she lured him into this adultery. I felt this was coming for some time and could not stop it. She was not only lying to me but also to our son about what she was doing and where she was going. My family is important, my son loves her and as crazy as it sounds so do I. Can you respond with a course of action on how to proceed? I was still have a very huge place in my heart for her. so i searched for help online and I came across a website that suggested that Dr Ahmed can help solve marital problems, restore broken relationships and so on. So I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and he told me what to do and i did it then he did a spell for me. 28 hours later, my wife came to me and apologized for the wrongs she did and promise never to do it again. Ever since then, everything has returned back to normal. I, my son and my wife are living together happily again.. All thanks to Dr Ahmed. as it is a place to resolve marriage/relationship issues, do you want to be sure if your spouse is being faithful to you or Do you want your Ex to come back to you Contact.: E-mail: or call/Whats-app: +2348160153829 save your crumbling home and change of grades its 100% safe. I suggest you contact him. He will not disappoint you.
David L. Ollis, 43yrs, UK
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