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Advice if parents wont pay college if go to bfs family reunion

Requested in Parenting & Family by a contributor
edited by 2cent

2 Recs

Your parents sounds ridiculous and controlling. So you have a choice: cave to them and get your college covered, or declare your independence and start applying for financial aid. honestly, If it were me, I might stick it out, get what I need, and then break away. It all depends on you and how much you are willing to sacrifice to make them happy.
I'm currently 21, living with my parents and they are paying for my college. In September school will be starting up again. Well, in October my boyfriends family is having a family reunion and I have been invited. It would require me to take a week off from work and school. I haven't yet said if I am going, I plan on waiting to see what is going on in my schooling first. When I discussed it with my mom she said that if I went they would no longer pay for my college and I still have 3 years until I earn my degree. I understand them not wanting me to miss school but at the same time...I'm only going to go if I know it won't put me behind or anything. Part of me questions their motives even more because they do not like my boyfriend and would prefer I broke up with him. It just seems they are using my education against me in order to get me to do what they want. I would never do anything to endanger my schooling and they of all people know this. Is it unreasonable of me to get angry because of this?
Is it just this boyfriend, or have they given you ultimatums for other relationships? I think you need to decide how much of a grown-up you want to be. Whenever you do something they dislike, your parents may threaten to stop paying for your education. If you take a stand now, and call their bluff, it may show them you want to be treated like an adult. Just be prepared for the reality. I don't think it's fair to put restrictions on an education, unless the child isn't performing academically. What you're asking isn't unreasonable. MJ is right. They're being controlling. I never once considered not paying for my daughter's education, even when she was involved with a guy we hated. She had to find out the hard way he was a jerk. It's part of growing up. She never let anything get in the way of her education, and now she's Air Force JAG over in Germany. I think if you approach your parents and say, "I've checked my schedule, and it won't adversely affect my classes if I attend the reunion. I understand how you feel, and if that's your choice, I'll start making plans to get loans. I might have to get a job to cover some expenses, so please understand if I don't have a lot of time for you in the future." Throw a little reality in their faces. I'm sure they won't like that much. When the worm turns, I bet they'll rethink their position.
I think the issue here is that they're paying for a 15 week semester and you want to take a week off in the middle to have a vacation. That's how I see it. If you had more evidence than this one instance, I'd say your parents were controlling. But I think they just don't want their money to be wasted.

I missed two weeks of school during my senior year. That's by far the most school I've missed. The first was due to a pretty serious illness the first semester. That left me set back pretty far and definitely impacted my grades. The other I missed because I was presenting work at a conference in a far away part of the country. That one wasn't too bad to miss but I made arrangements to take tests in advance and I got notes from friends. Even though I knew about the presentation months in advance and planned everything, it still set me back. So even with advanced planning you fall behind.

Honestly, I don't think students should be taking vacations in the middle of the school year. Teachers don't like it either. It's fine to miss a class or two for major things like weddings & funerals. But this just isn't at that level. You really shouldn't miss a whole week of school for anything but an educational opportunity or an emergency.

Hey guys my wife and I have been married for 15 years. For over five years I have been dealing with jealousy issues because of flirting and her having emotional type affairs with other men. I felt like my masculinity was in question and if I said the way she was acting bothered me, it seemed to make matters worse or I was accused of being controling. During this period I did state I wanted a divorce if the behavior was not going to end: texting men a night, leaving for the weekend without letting me know where she was going or not responding to messages. We do have a son and basically it's been him and I for the last year on the weekends. She disconnected completely from being a good wife and mother. In April she said she wanted a separation and I said no we need to get into marriage counseling. We did try that, but she was not very responsive and didn't give any effort. Afterward she was adamant about separation and divorce. I continued to say no and that we needed to save our family. She presented a separation agreement and I had to hire a lawyer. Because of the above behavior my lawyer suggested a private investigator. The investigator discovered my wife was having an affair with a close friend of the family who also is married with children. We know the extended families. I feel like I should tell this man's wife about what happened. This adultery has devastated me emotionally, I feel betrayed and I'm physically drained. I know my wife is passionate in terms of her sexuality, and I can't get the thought of them out of my head. It makes me question my own manhood, and I feel very inferior or that he must be a better lover or what ever. The problem is my wife pursued him. She would go to him and she lured him into this adultery. I felt this was coming for some time and could not stop it. She was not only lying to me but also to our son about what she was doing and where she was going. My family is important, my son loves her and as crazy as it sounds so do I. Can you respond with a course of action on how to proceed? I was still have a very huge place in my heart for her. so i searched for help online and I came across a website that suggested that Dr Ahmed can help solve marital problems, restore broken relationships and so on. So I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and he told me what to do and i did it then he did a spell for me. 28 hours later, my wife came to me and apologized for the wrongs she did and promise never to do it again. Ever since then, everything has returned back to normal. I, my son and my wife are living together happily again.. All thanks to Dr Ahmed. as it is a place to resolve marriage/relationship issues, do you want to be sure if your spouse is being faithful to you or Do you want your Ex to come back to you Contact.: E-mail: or call/Whats-app: +2348160153829 save your crumbling home and change of grades its 100% safe. I suggest you contact him. He will not disappoint you.
David L. Ollis, 43yrs, UK
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