Advice if having affair but dont want to leave your husband

Requested in Love & Relationships by a contributor
edited by 2cent

2 Recs

Can you share more about your situation?

Shared by marinemj

I am a 35 year old woman who has been married for 17 years now. We have 2 boys ages 16 and 13. We have been going through some things for quite awhile now, about 4 years ago I had an affair and my husband some how managed to forgive me. I recently came across this man yet again and the feelings came rushing back so I started seeing him again and have come to realize that I love this man and can't stop thinking about him. The problem is that this man thinks I'm separated from my husband and I'm seriously thinking about leaving my husband for this man. I mean I love my husband but I'm just not in love with him. What should I do I'm so confused..

Commented by a contributor

No one can tell you what to choose. But you need to pick one or the other, and you need to do it fast. Trust me, when your boys find out you are screwing around on their dad AGAIN (and they will find out), it is going to mess them up and give them serious trust issues. Also, you need to understand that if you do leave your husband for this man, things won't be all passion and roses forever or probably even for very long.

So, my opinion is that you should end the affair. Unless you think your husband will find out, DO NOT tell him about it. Just tell him that you think things have gotten off track and you need to see a therapist together. They can give you ways to work toward falling back in love. Quit thinking of your feelings as some outside force you can't control. You're an adult. Act like it.

Commented by marinemj

No one can tell you the path your heart should take, but it's a really bad situation that you're lying to BOTH of them. You need to make a choice and you need to do it soon.

Commented by OceanKitten

You're being a self-centered home wrecking piece of crap, who will ultimately turn your husband into a financial slave while you have a fake dad in the picture raising your 2 boys 83% of the time.
You women disgust me. 80% of divorces are initiated by women, you are the first to fall in love, and first to fall out of love.
Society is doomed, the children from broken homes go on to fail in all levels of their lives - statistically speaking.