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Advice getting girlfriend whos ok with you chewing tobacco

Requested in Love & Relationships by a contributor
edited by 2cent

3 Recs

My thoughts about guys who dip: it's the most disgusting habit ever. The mungy teeth, the yucky taste it leaves, the spitting... just thinking about it makes me want to gag. Seeing a guy with his lip all distorted because he's got a big plug o' dip stuffed down there... ugh. I actually find it grosser than smoking and I freakin' hate smoking. Of all that, the spitting is the worst.

Yes, I have declined to go out with guys who chewed/smoked for that reason.
I'll be starting college in a few days and I'm hoping to find myself a new girlfriend. I've been addicted to dip since I was 16 and from what I've heard most girls ABSOLUTELY HATE guys who use the stuff. I've always wondered why is it so unattractive? Ladies, what are your thoughts about guys who dip? Would you date one?

The thing is, I love to chew tobacco. It's not something I'm willing to give up. Yes I'm aware of all the health risks but it is my personal decision. I wouldn't use the stuff around girls or anything, but how could I go about telling her that I use it? I thought about keeping it a secret, but it just doesn't seem like the right thing to do because after all I would be living a life of lies and deception by using it behind her back.
Your instinct to be open from the beginning is a good one. And here is a little bit of wisdom: most people who smoke/chew do not realize how annoying and pervasive the grossness is. You probably don't taste it in your mouth after you have brushed your teeth but your girlfriend will. Plus all your pants pockets probably have that little circle from the can. So the odds of you being able to keep it a secret are not good. As far as how to tell a girl... if she doesn't already know I would suggest mentioning it in casual conversation before things have a chance to get too far. That way she can decide how far she wants to let things go. Just like it is your choice to take on the nastiness and health risks, she has the right to decide whether she wants to be involved with someone who takes on that nastiness and health risk.
You are a man - and so you have no fixed personality/reputation, really. You will oscillate between whichever female you belong to.

This issue of dipping is not as big as you make it seem. Your life-stage (i.e you are not ready to work for a woman) has you playing kind of tight right now, but when the time is good, you will get the kind of maturity that will make giving up dipping and a whole bunch of other "life-long/die-hard/I thought I would never give this up" things very, very easy. You will do it without feeling like you are a chameleon or a sell-out.

Enjoy your time - and your dipping till then.

Good luck.
I think girls find it a disgusting habit and associate it with Redneck Hillbillies, not educated college men. And you may not do it around girls, but I guarandamntee you that we can smell it (just like we can smell cigarette smoke on a man). I'm not condemning you for doing it (my grandfather was a Copenhagen man all his life, but he was a farmer and it was common with his generation). My advice to you is to be honest because you're not going to be able to hide it. But knowing that women hate it, you have to make a choice: keep chewing and hope you find a girl who doesn't mind or give it up and widen your dating pool.
I wouldn't date a guy that smokes or uses chewing tobacco. I can't stand the smell of cigarettes and I certainly don't want to kiss a mouth that's been chewing. It's not a habit I want to put up with. It's not really that I want to regulate a guy's health. Marijuana doesn't smell or taste gross to me and so I don't care about that.

That's my personal choice, but with that choice I know that with that choice I'm knocking out a good 25% of the population as a potential date.

There are girls that don't care about your tobacco use and they will date you. Just don't be surprised if things stop with a girl the second she finds out you chew. Just be upfront with it.

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